Skip links

Introducing The R-Blog. Everything about Relationships

Introducing the R-Blog and Jim O’Connor

I am Jim O’Connor psychotherapist relationships counsellor and creator of the R-Blog. In my practice, I teach people how to navigate the complex world of modern relationships; I help them become great relaters and find other great relaters; I teach them strategies to overcome the problems they face in their relationships every day so they can create the kind of relationship they love being in.  But I don’t just teach people how to create great relationships.  You see I believe in a more wholistic approach.  To explain, I believe that it is critically important to teach people how to thrive in life and love.  We know that happy, secure self determining individuals are much more likely to have happy, secure, lasting relationships.  That is what this series in my blog is focused on, teaching you how to thrive in life as much as love.

About the R-Blog and How to Succeed in Relationships.

Welcome to the Relationships Blog or R-blog for short. The R-blog is dedicated to giving you all the information, skills and strategies you need to thrive in the modern world of relationships despite the chaos and confusion that is out there.  It will also give you great ideas about how to thrive in life and career not just your personal relationships.

By reading the R-Blog you’ll learn how to identify, understand and avoid the traps, and dangers that are common out there in the world of relationships. You’ll learn how to become a great relator so you can go on to find your own great relator. Needless to say, it will teach how to turn arguing into solutions, how to massively improve your communications and most importantly how to connect.  You’ll become more confident, your become more capable.  What’s more you’ll enjoy life more.  In short, if it has anything to do with navigating the complex world of modern relationships and creating the kind of relationship that will work for you and not against you we’re going to cover it.

This is the First Post in the Series:  How To Succeed In  Relationships.

In this post I want to get right down to the foundations of dating and relating.  To do that I want to ask you some questions.  Are you someone who is looking for the right partner but don’t really know how to go about finding them? Maybe you are in an established relationship and you’ve noticed that you’re arguing and bickering all the time making you question whether you want to stay or you want to fix it?

Or perhaps you are in an abusive relationship and you think you should leave and you’re not sure how. Perhaps you’re somebody who simply wants to create the kind of wonderful satisfying and fulfilling relationship that you’ve always wanted but you don’t necessarily know how.  Would you like to know how?  Do you have a plan or a strategy or an approach to learning how to succeed in modern relationships?

You’re Not Alone

If you have asked any of these questions or the thousands of other challenging relationship questions that we ask ourselves every day you’re not alone. These are just some of the more common problems, that you have to find the answer to if you want to become a great relator, find another great relater and go on to create the satisfying and fulfilling relationship you want. What’s crazy is many of these problems have answers.  That’s not the problem.


The Real Relationship Problem?

The real problem is not, do we have the answers, the skills and the strategies that we need to solve most of the relationship problems we face every day. We do know the answers to most of the problems that people are ever going to face.  The real problems are getting the right answers for you in your situation in the easiest and most effective way possible. But knowing the right answers isn’t enough,  the second problem is helping people adopt the skills and strategies they need to succeed.

The 15 Critical Questions For Knowing How to Succeed in Relationships.

Below are 15 critical questions that you have to find answers to if you’re going to have any chance of being successful in relationships.  The way you answer them drastically impacts the way you understand and relate to others.

  1. Do you really know what’s going on out there in the modern dating and relating world?
  2. Do you have the skills and strategies to successfully navigate and avoid the traps and dangers, whilst simultaneously finding the right person and going on to build the kind of relationship you want to be in.
  3. Are you relationship ready and how would you know?
  4. If not how do you become relationship ready?
  5. How do you find, attract, connect with the person who’s right for you?
  6. What is relating?
  7. What is good relating?
  8. What’s a relationship or partnership?
  9. What’s a good relationship or partnership?
  10. What are the principles, skills and strategies that make a good relationship?
  11. What are the principles, skills and strategies that make a bad relationship?
  12. How do you get out of a bad relationship?
  13. How do you become a great relater?
  14. How do you attract another great relater?
  15. How do you strengthen your relationship?

There are many questions you could ask, however I believe that these are the 15 critical questions you have to answer to know how to succeed in relationships.  Here is a link to some other articles you could look at that ask some different questions.  They come from the website Life Hack.  Here’s the link.  53 Relationship Questions That Will Make Your Love Life Better by Anna Chui

It’s Important to Know the Answer To These Fundamental Questions

Here’s the thing, it’s important that you know the answers to all of these questions so that you can navigate the modern dating and relating world successfully.  In short if you want to succeed in relationships you have to know the answers to these 15 critical questions.

The modern world of dating and relating is more like a jungle than a happy fun party. There are traps and dangers out there that you must avoid.  Yes there are also plenty of wonderful opportunities, but you need to be able to identify the difference between the pretenders and the keepers lest you get snared by the duds.

You have to be relationship ready because you’ve got to know how to connect with people and maintain that connection through life’s ups and downs. It is critical to know what good relating and good relationships are so you can recognize what you need to fix and if your relationship is even worth fixing. What’s more it goes without saying that great relaters create great relationships.

A Framework On How To Succeed in Relationships that Works.

So to make this as simple as it can possibly be I’ve put this series of posts together on How to Succeed in Relationships so you can just follow them step by step.  All you have to do is read them, apply them, learn and grow.

The information in them breaks down everything you need to know and do to create the kind of relationship you love being in.  Research shows us that the principles, skills and strategies in these posts work because they come from research into what successful couples think and do to make their relationships thrive.

I’ve tried as best I can to put this series together in the form of a framework that you can just follow.  So, let’s start building a framework that works.  There are four parts to that framework.  I call this framework the The Modern Dating and Relating Fitness Framework.  It’s about getting relationship fit and working with the world as it is not as you wish it would be.  It’s about getting you prepared to navigate the real world of relationships so you can avoid the traps and pitfalls and maximize the opportunities.  Also it is about learning how to create the kind of relationship you love being in not one that you have to survive.

  1. Know what you’re dealing with.
  2. Become a great relater, so you can find, attract and connect with another great relator.
  3. Find, attract and connect with another great relater and connect with them.
  4. Develop your connection and commit.
  5. Keep growing so you can thrive together.

In the Next Post

In the next post in this series on How to Succeed in Relationships, were going to look at the first part of the framework, “Know what you’re dealing with” .  It’s much more complicated than it seems on Tele.


Until next time

I’m Jim O’Connor,