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The Stages of Relationship Counselling or Coaching

The Stages of Relationship Counselling and Coaching

There are four stages to the process of relationship counselling or coaching.

Initial workup.

During the initial session, we listen to your situation, identify the root causes of your problem, and then outline a plan that will help you achieve the results you want. After we’ve discussed it and you have agreed to the plan we’re suggesting we can begin immediately, getting your life back on track.

If you don’t think the plan will suit you during that initial discussion, we will suggest another option.  We will always try to make the plan suit you in your situation. However, if you don’t believe we can help you are free to leave without any obligations and seek other help.

It’s also important to know that if we were to see you individually or as a couple we don’t pass information between you.  Your confidentiality is as if you don’t know the other person.  This enables you to speak freely if we see you without our partner.

Awareness of the problem and the solutions.

The problem-solving process for both counselling and coaching begins with awareness. It is very hard to solve a problem that you are not fully aware of.  First of all, you need to become aware of what the root cause of the issue is. What is the root cause of the conscious and unconscious urges and impulses you have that drive you to fight or argue?  What are the unconscious beliefs and behaviours that drive you to avoid people who you find attractive and want to have a relationship?  What are the things every couple needs to know and do to create connection, love and understanding?

Skills and strategies for drug and alcohol problems.

The skills and strategies of relationship counselling or coaching include learning how to communicate without fighting.  You’ll learn how to connect.  It’s also about finding the motivation to work things out. More importantly, this stage helps you become fully aware of the things that you may be thinking and doing that are causing your partner to disengage from you.  We will also show you the skills and strategies that will increase your partner’s likelihood of re-engaging with you.

Part of the work we will do in this stage is to help you find the motivation, persistence, and determination to succeed in either make your relationships work or if necessary leave if that is the most appropriate thing to do.  You see if the problem is you’re in an abusive relationship you may need to leave.  If this is the case we will support you as you do so.  We will help you do so most safely and effectively as possible.


Knowledge without application is just information in your head.  Knowledge doesn’t change you until you apply it in real-life situations and grow new perspectives and master the skills of connecting and relating.  We will help you apply the skills and strategies you learn in, low medium and high-risk situations until you succeed in being able to connect with people you are in a relationship with.  During this phase, we will support you until your conscious and unconscious beliefs and strategies and attachments are working for you and your relationship and not against them.

Maintenance and Relapse Prevention

Once you’ve been able to succeed in low, medium, and high-risk situations we will support you over a period of time until you don’t have any likelihood of relapsing into the kind of relationship distress that brought you to seeking help anyway.  During this phase, we support you and help you implement and execute the skills you’ve learned until they are second nature.