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How to find love in the modern world.

Elusive Love 1:

Do you want to know how to find love, with the right person, amidst the craziness of the modern dating and relating world?

Do you find yourself recently single and a bit shocked and confused because it all seemed to start out well but then things went downhill due to constant bickering and arguing over nothing? Do you wonder if you’ve met the right person or could there be someone better out there for you? Do you find yourself asking should I leave or stay because your partner seems to always be angry? Would you know if found someone else, that they’re right for you? Do you wonder, why do my relationships seem to end up breaking up? Do you question yourself is it them or is it me?  Or is it both of us?  What should I do? Ahhhhhhh?????? F@#$. It’s all so confusing?

If you’ve asked yourself any of these questions and any of the other questions about relating, you are not alone.  These are just some of the questions people ask themselves as they seek to find that elusive love in the chaos that is the cauldron of the modern dating and relating world.

Here’s the Problem:

It is confusing because it’s complicated, and we aren’t being taught the right stuff early enough.

Sorry to sound so blunt from the start.  I work with people every day who are trying to find the right person, settle down, perhaps have kids, and build a happy life together.  Or people who are already in a relationship and they don’t know if it is a good one or not.  I also work with people who are in abusive relationships and don’t know how they got there in the first place, or how to leave.

Over that time after working with thousands of couples and individuals I come to believe that many of us just aren’t properly prepared for finding a partner, connecting with them, and growing a satisfying and fulfilling relationship.  Many of us just seem to make it up from what we learned from our families, and friends or what we’ve gleaned from social media. Well, that’s all well and good if what you learned works.  If it doesn’t you’re in trouble.

What is crazy is spend so much time learning to pass exams, and build careers, get fit, hang out with the right people, yet for many, almost no time goes into learning about relationships, how they work and what makes them satisfying and fulfilling. Relating is what we do most in our lives.  It’s the thing that brings us a great deal of fulfilment or distress depending on how well yours is going.

With that in mind I and my friend and colleague Dr Yuliya Richard, want to help by starting a conversation that can help you learn how relationships work, how to find the right partner, how to get out of a bad one, and a whole lot more.  In fact we’re going to cover everything that is dating and relating. Hang in there and if you want to learn how to get the best out of relationships, as well as a whole bunch of stuff that is going to help you in life and living, then read on.

In the next post, we’re going to look at the reasons why finding a great relationship is so difficult and what you have to do to make it a lot more achievable.  In the blogs immediately following that we’re going to discuss one of the most important ideas around creating great relationships.  It’s about the importance of a psychological principle called individuation.  Going forward we’re going to show you how it vitally important you become happy, self-determining and fulfilled in your own life as well as happy, self-determining and fulfilled in relationships.  The Next Blog in this series finding your Elusive Love, is called “Why is Finding a Great Relationship So Difficult and What to do About it”

That’s all for now.

I’m Jim O’Connor

If you want to read more I’ll be posting another blog next week.


If you want to check out Dr Yuliya, then here are her links


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